New relationships are great. There’s the element of excitement, the nice things you do for each other, passionate kisses goodnight against the car, and the front door, and the building, and . . .

Ok, I think you get it.

So getting started can be great. The one thing I’d wager none of us look forward to is learning how to fall asleep next to each other.

I’m a big girl, I’ve shared small bedrooms with people before, hell I even spent a month in a hammock in the rainforest once, but unless I’m so intoxicated I can’t stay awake, it’s going to take me a while to fall asleep next to someone new.

When you attempt to stem cohabitational insomnia it’s a good idea to look at the options.

Researches say a couple’s sleeping positions say a lot about their relationship, security and comfort level. So next time you’re taking very long winks next to your significant other think about what your position says about you.

Passion! Adventure!

Maybe too much wine . . .

Finding yourself curled up into a love ball with Mr. or Mrs. Thang can be hot-figuratively and literally. All that contact is overheating. I gave up trying to actually sleep tangled up with my one and only like that soon after my 21st birthday.

However, this position is indicative of connection, on one level or another, and general sexual comfort. Good news is, you’re probably getting some. Bad news is, you may have to keep mints under your pillows. No body likes waking up with morning breath in their face.

The Choke Hold

Not all things are created equal, even in relationships. Sometimes one or the other of you may get a little clingy. In this case the dispassionate sleeper may change position a dozen times in the night to try to escape the grasp of their bedfellow.

Back, side, knees up, arms out . . . nothing works. They want to hold you, and by god they’re going to.

Your clingy darling may be having an emotional crisis, or just need a hug. Considering a body pillow or teddy bear to stem the tide and absorb their affection or you may not sleep at all.

The Spoon

I’m not looking for a fork full of sugar. No, that’d be a spoon I’m after.

Ahh the spoon. Who doesn’t like this set up, at least once and a while?

Remember to provide ample pillow room for both heads in question, and not get too exasperated with hand placement. Spooning is classic, comfortable, endearing, and as long as you have enough room to breath, can be a winner.

Paper Dolls

Some of us just can’t sleep unless we have a bit of room, but really, we’re still affectionate and loving. Assume the paper doll position, hold hands but maintain your personal space.

Note: This position can withstand a little tossing and turning. How refreshing.

The Not-so-cold Shoulder

Back to back may sound like a buzz kill, but, really, it’s touching at one of the least offensive or uncomfortable places on your bodies, which encourages restful sleep. And who isn’t nicer in the morning when they’re rested?

This can be accomplished either touching or not touching. Sometimes comfortable distance can be the healthiest thing.

Different Strokes

Sometimes you just want your own space, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I’d much rather share my bed with my cat – he’s small, doesn’t snore, pass gas audibly in his sleep, or shift the bed if he changes position. But, while he is very cute, he isn’t a good excuse to forgo the connection and comfort that sleeping next to someone can encourage.

If you’re really having problems getting to sleep you might want to take a longer look at your relationship, or check with your doctor about insomnia.

valerie.rose.nutt@gmail.com