Tedder

Lessons on Love

There are four types of relationships?first are those that open you up to new and exciting adventures and teach you more about yourself.

Then there are those that feel like an old high school football sweatshirt?warm, comforting and familiar. They take you back to a time and place in your life that you just weren’t ready to let go.

There are those relationships that challenge you to be a better person, to make you look at yourself, and others, differently.

Then, there’s the relationship you have with yourself?the most empowering and significant relationship you will ever have.

Learning to love yourself is the scariest and most difficult battle one can ever encounter; however, if you find someone who will love you the way you love yourself, then you will have found the best thing in the world.

There have been times when I seriously considered posting on dontdatehimgirl.com, but resisted.

Take, for example, the one who felt like a football sweatshirt turned stalker who was too stuck in his past to see beyond 1985. Odd at first, then a little scary.

Fast forward to a quaint coffee shop where I was having (gasp!) coffee with a guy who started out being very nice (don’t they all). As we were talking however, he proceeded to not only put my job down, but also my interests, friends, and things I enjoy doing. He ultimately made me feel small and meaningless. He forbid me to go downtown, he didn’t want me to drink and he didn’t like that I attended a well-known awards show and stayed throughout the whole thing?and he put down one of my mentors in the process. He only cared about himself.

Then I was challenged in a different way than usual. He only wanted me to further his career, to get him to meet with the right people, to put him in the right place at the right time. Well, I put him in his place alright.

Then, there was the one. He had all four characteristics wrapped into one. He was fun, exciting, challenged me in all the right ways, made me see the world in a entirely different way, and he made me a better person. He helped teach me not only how to find myself, but how to love myself once I found myself, and he loved me back. He also taught me that broken hearts take an extensive amount of time to heal when he lied, cheated and chose substances over me.

But, you move on. No matter who breaks your heart or how long it takes to heal. You can build up walls, watch your trust disintegrate, and you can even be the girl who turns bitter and cold. You can stop yourself from getting hurt, but you also stop yourself from being loved. And, personally, I would rather have thirty minutes of amazing, than a lifetime of nothing special.

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The Murfreesboro Pulse: Middle Tennessee’s Source for Art, Entertainment and Culture News.

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