Rating: Flat Line

This CD should get a prize for the worst overall assigned to me for review. There are so many things horribly wrong with it I may have to listen to it again just to remind myself of the actual important reasons why it leaves such a horrible taste.

In a nutshell, those reasons are; the type of content that Take a Picture, Make a Promise is intended to present (according to the press release) is not even close to what is presented; the songwriting and lyrical content of this album are excessively bad, and do not seem to be directed at any existing live demographic of people; the instrumentation and production values are boring, and lack any sort of musicality or artistic feel; the lyrical hooks sound like they are intended primarily for pre adolescent girls or people who have absolutely no desire to listen to more than a few poorly chosen words repeated over again; and over the rhythmic and melodic structures of all of the songs are boring, disposable, and have been heard countless times from bad frat bands attempting to “holla” at girls; and, finally, every piece of every noise found on this album from the opening fake radar tape noise to the end is generic.

The vocals, the drums, the guitars, the organ, the bass and the piano are all used in mundane and uncharismatic ways. These uninspired Jason Mraz knockoffs should have been checked at the door.

Notice to major labels: Derek Stroker is unsigned, here is your chance to grab your next terrible top 40 pop artist before any of the other guys do.