Rating: 2 Pulses
Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Rob Corddry
Directed by Tom Vaughan
Rated PG-13
For a movie whose title tries to capitalize on Sin City’s popular slogan, you would think more of it would actually take place in that bright and blinking Babylon. Of course, the implied later half of the title may have been intentionally left off given that after one brief, seizure-inducing montage the film is set almost entirely in New York.
No new plot or character developments are explored in the feature beyond what any preview has already shown, but for the sake of movie review readers out there who commendably condemn television, here’s the pitch: the recently-dumped, Wall Street-working, compulsive planner Joy (Diaz) and Jack (Ashton Kutcher as Ashton Kutcher) meet in Las Vegas, have some drinks, get married (like you do), wake up, bicker, decide on an annulment, then win 3 million dollars, all in less than 24 hours.
How could this setup not be funny? By unashamedly rehashing the same arguments over the toilet seat being left up. It’s not that I asked to be challenged by this cash-in comedy, but the movie offers absolutely no new or enlightening comedic insight on the hardships of marriage. How could it when the couple’s sole motivation for staying together is the money? When this ditsy duo does inevitably see past their monetary motives, the moral is lost in lines of love that still refer to the green: “You bet on me, Joy.”
Acting as the couple’s ringside shoulder devils is a talented supporting cast who must have lowered their standards for the aforementioned almighty dollar. In the role of Jack’s not-so-subtly-named best friend and lawyer Hater, former “Daily Show” correspondent Rob Corddry disappoints nearly every time he speaks. As his female counterpart Tipper, Lake Bell is an Amanda Peet look-alike whose capacity for hate knows no bounds. Even funny boy Zach Galifianakis seems powerless without his piano as Jack’s friend who chooses Joy’s side because “she’s hot.”
Considering the astounding mediocrity of the story, jokes and stars, What Happens In Vegas should never have happened at all.
