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Gagflex: Goodbye 2011

Goodbye 2011. You brought us many great nuggets to talk, text and tweet about. Here are your 10 greatest hits.

1. Protests. In Arab countries, 2011 will be known as the year of the Arab Spring. Egypt, Libya, Yemen and Tunisia all had protests and revolutions that lead to the outing of longstanding governments and dictators. We also saw protests in Bahrain, Jordan and Oman. In the U.S., we had the Occupy Wall Street protest, or what’s referred to as the Dirty Jealous Hippy protests by people who work on Wall Street. Results are still pending.

2. The Death of Osama bin Laden. Who didn’t read every detail about the Navy Seals killing Osama bin Laden? Okay, if most American read then they would have read it. But I’m sure the made-for-TV movie will rock all the same. Sorry, Gadhafi. Being dragged out of a drain pipe and shot by your own people doesn’t make the cut.

3. The GOP Presidential Field. I don’t know who’s going to get the Republican nomination, and I’m not sure that I care. It’s hard to care when Herman Cain is no longer is the race. Where Rick Perry’s implosion was just a little hard to watch, Herman Cain’s fall was like a beautiful swan dive off a mountain of indefensible lies and bad ideas. Who cares what Romney has to say, we’ve heard it before. Also, Ron Paul has a few good ideas. People might even take him seriously if his own party did.

4. Tebowmania. Of course, Tebow will continue to play football, but the cherry has already been popped on the first year of hysteria. Anyone who tries as hard as he does deserves to succeed, unless of course you try hard at murdering.

5. The Debt Ceiling Fight. Obama should have seen it coming. He should know by now that Republican’s act anonymously as a party and are willing to bring the whole system down to get their way.

6. The End of the War in Iraq. It only took 8 years after George W. Bush declared “Mission accomplished” to pull our troops out of Iraq.

7. The Death of Kim Jong Il. It’s almost hard to imagine that the Dear Leader could actually die with all the claims about his miracle existence. Then again the $650,000 he spent on cognac every year might have finally caught up to him.

8. Tornados. I hate ’em. They ravaged many parts of the South, and I fear they’ll come and get me if I leave them off the list.

9. The Royal Wedding. Americans once again got to act like they care about the biggest welfare recipients in England. However, the one positive that can be taken away from the wedding is that Pippa Middleton exists.

10. Twitter. If you heard about the story before everyone else then you probably found out about it on Twitter. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, it matters that you know first. While Twitter has been around for a few years, 2011 is the year that people discovered that if it’s over 140 characters, then it’s probably not worth knowing.

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