Goodbye, 2012. You were an odd year, but you still had some memorable moments. Here are 10 bits that, for better or worse, we are casting off into a murky past.
1. The Dissolving Republican Party
The 2012 presidential election should go down as the election that broke the Republican Party. The Republican tent is getting smaller every year, and they can no longer rely on disgruntled white men to give them the White House. Their best shot was Mitt Romney, and that in itself is an indictment of where they stand. It’s time for the Republican Party to have an all out enema to purge the far-right candidates just so we can have at least two working parties.
2. The Perfect Storm
I’ve never been in a hurricane, but by judging the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, it’s hard to imagine even Patrick Swayze trying to ride that one out, Point Break style. Much of the coast was hammered and millions of people were without power. Unfortunately, much of the Jersey Shore will never be the same. Fortunately, the show that comes to everyone’s mind when they read “Jersey Shore” was cancelled by the garbage factory that is MTV.
3. Science Still Rocks
The Large Hadron Collider discovered two particles, one which is possibly the Higgs boson particle. I am much too stupid to explain the importance, so find somebody smarter than me and they’ll tell you why this is really cool. Also, we have a fancy new robot on Mars that has the potential to make discoveries that could possibly blow the minds of anyone who hasn’t burn out their last brain cell watching Hoarders marathons.
4. Death of an Ambassador
Libyan Ambassador, Christopher Stevens, was the first American Ambassador to die in a violent assault since 1979. It’s a horrible story made worse by conspiracy theorists.
5. The Olympics
The London Olympics was strange to say the least. Some people ran, some people jumped, and others did athleticky things. I mostly remember the bizarre opening ceremony which was directed by Danny Boyle. It was like taking mushrooms in a nursing home for orphans. It doesn’t make sense, but neither did the ceremony.
6. More Israel and Palestine
The war between peoples who have more in common than they would ever admit continues to be waged over unfertile chunks of land and ancient superstitions. As of this writing, the fighting has stopped, or at least temporarily halted by our interference.
7. Theater Shooting
A lunatic asshole by the name of James Holmes shot and killed 12 people and wounded 58 others who came to see the midnight showing of the latest Batman movie in Colorado. Of course, he did have the right to buy an assault rifle and all the ammunition his crazy brain thought that he might need. Thank goodness for that.
8. Derek Dooley
It was an odd three years for Derek Dooley. He taught us the proper technique for taking showers, he gave the media lectures on German military strategy, and he taught UT fans how to lose in agonizing ways.
9. Gangnam Style
I barely know what this is, but it probably doesn’t matter because I doubt we’ll be seeing this much in 2013.
10. The End
I’m not sure the Mayan’s actually made the prediction that the world would end in 2012, and I don’t think it matters. Bored people who enjoy pseudo-science love to ramble on about the Mayan predictions, and how brilliant they were. I’ll take the word of one of my favorite astronomy professors, Chuck Higgins, over the Mayans any day of the week. Goodbye, crazy prediction. I am sure you‘ll find a home in the skulls of other bored and crazy people.
Goodbye, 2012.
