Guillermo del Toro: you’ve made some good choices as a producer. Mama was not one of them.

The premise of the film is that a man finds his dead brother’s children, after the brother killed his wife. The children, who have been missing for almost five years, are found in a desolate cabin in the woods, behaving in a feral-like manner and believing in an entity they call “Mama.” Of course, a smarmy “stock character” doctor completely discounts the supernatural, yet believes it completely plausible that these two little girls lived by themselves eating cherry pits in the woods without any sort of assistance. The girls move in with their uncle and aunt, and lo and behold strange paranormal things start happening in the couple’s new house.

This movie simply didn’t care, and neither should you. It’s a weak-ass backstory that offers nothing interesting in the slightest. I never thought I’d say this, but the Paranormal Activity series actually offered more.

This little ditty is based on a short horror film which you can find on YouTube, which is essentially a chase scene. If you’re looking for a good scare, you’re better off watching that than getting invested in this movie. There is no payoff, except when you get out of your seat to use the bathroom.

Guillermo del Toro, what happened? Are you biting off more than you can chew, or are you simply looking for quick paychecks to cash? I’d like to know; you’ve done some of my favorite movies, and this is very unlike you. I just hope this isn’t permanent, like you’re pulling a John Carpenter and throwing in the blood-soaked towel. I took your advice, and I wasn’t “afraid of the dark.” To be fair, you didn’t give me much to work with over that, just like when you attached your name to this. Perhaps you should take a break, then work on something like The Orphanage. Also, please stop doing movies about ghosts and residual energy. I feel you’ve overplayed that card. You made vampires scary again. I know you’re better than this.

I gave this film one star. It’s simply forgettable.