One of my favorite lines from the movie Fight Club is when Brad Pitt’s character tells Edward Norton’s that they are part of a generation of men raised by women, and maybe last thing they need is another woman.

To a degree, I completely believe that.

It’s not a knock against women because I was raised by my mother and she’s about as tough as they come. It’s an assessment of the depletion of masculinity within our culture, and I’m not talking about the fake manliness that pop culture sells us. I’m talking about a sense of responsibility, adventure and independence that seems to be disappearing faster than the polar ice caps.

It’s astounding how many men I know, friends included, who are barely capable of taking care of themselves, let alone another human being. These are the same men who are overly reliant on parents and let their girlfriends become motherly substitutes. Then there are the guys whose emotional expansion and desire to explore life doesn’t extend past the couch and the television. The greatest prospect they have for adventure and discovery this year will be when the new Halo comes out.

I have no idea how the modern caricature of a man developed, but its self-perpetuating and a bit dumb. In the eyes of modern culture, the real men are the lunkhead fraternity types who want nothing more than to drink Miller, chase dumb women and be happily stupid while giving high fives. And if you change the channel you’ll get that other complex version of a man, the one that aimlessly hauls stuff in big trucks in Chevy commercials.

When I think of the Renaissance man, I think of my friend Farmer McGregor. When he was living in Massachusetts, he paid his way through college by sailing. After college he became a successful reporter, then a successful novelist. When he was in his 50s, the age where a lot of people are thinking about settling down, he bought a farm and moved to Tennessee. I know guys in their 30s who are too terrified to change jobs, let alone adopt a new life while in their 50s.

The guy who actually gave me the idea for the column is my friend’s father. For a good part of October my friend and his father are going to Colorado on a hunting trip. The trip is most likely less about hunting than just spending time together and having an adventure. His father is a great guy and probably one of the most truly masculine guys I’ve ever met, and I can’t imagine a scenario that would qualify as any more manly than that.

And again, I don’t mean manly as in some fake tough-guy way. I mean manly as in graduating the inner child to a level that allows you to expand beyond the superficial, and gives you the blessing of discovery and the will to progress your own life.

And if all men were able to make it to that emotional state then we might be able to cut down on producing more idiot, bastard children who are byproducts of idiot, bastard fathers.