Just hours after news of my emotional, dramatic, never-been-this-bad, talk-show-worthy break-up had spread, a friend had her armor on and was ready to combat my broken heart?by putting her brother in my path.
We only went on a few dates, really, but I was in the typical cling mode that fresh ex-girlfriends fall into, trying to force a continuance of what I’d just lost and squeeze the new guy into the old guy’s shoes. This was pretty impossible as the old guy wore Skechers and the new guy wore Durangos.
For the sake of future reference, we’ll label the ex-boyfriend as Mr. C and the new guy as Duke. Duke was totally different than any guy I’d dated and the exact opposite of Mr. C. Duke was a good ol’ boy. He wanted nothing more in life than to work hard, smile at everyone who passed him, and be able to answer every “so what did you do this weekend” inquiry with a “well, I cooked me some chili, went for an evening stroll with the little lady, coached a little league team, gave money to a homeless person, and found a cure for HPV.”
Duke was able to zone in on exactly why I wanted closeness so fast, not be insulted, and still responded to my late night text messages with support and affection. He knew I was hung up so he backed up, which only made me feel another style of rejection that I wasn’t ready for after the emotional tornado with Mr. C, so I backed up, too. But once I did so, he wanted to commit. At that point, I had already realized that I was just being Reboundo-Girl and it was time to let Duke ride, or drive 80 mph, into the I-24 sunset and focus his charities elsewhere. Isn’t this typical of most relationships from dating even into marriage? The whole pursuit for attention tug-of-war played between man and woman is timeless really.
However, I walked away a better and stronger girl just like Duke had hoped I would; I even volunteered to do a few good things. Duke had prepped me for the dating scene with one strike down, and so many more to go. Strike 2 being Clark.
I can’t b.s. you guys. Another reason I ended it with Duke? On the third date, he broke wind on my leg while making out?on purpose. Who does that? There you have it, ladies, now it all makes sense, doesn’t it?
