I went to see Jennifer’s Body with a mixed group of guys and gals. The girls seemed to like it, but us fellas didn’t. So maybe it’s some gender thing, but to me, if this movie could be described in one word, it would be this: disappointment. Not just because of the lack of “sexual content,” but by the forced hipster dialogue that’s clever the first, maybe the second time, but wears out it’s welcome FAST (“Why don‘t you just Move On.org?”).
The film tells the story of two friends, Jennifer (Fox) and Needy (Seyfried). Living up to her name, Needy is a squeaky, clingy, insecure girl, living in the shadows of her more popular friend. In contrast, Jennifer is a cool and confident bombshell. Choosing different “social paths,” they don’t have much in common anymore. Somehow, their friendship has endured, and they have remained close and intimate (not the hot kind), but occasionally Jennifer bullies Needy.
Implausible melodramatics ensue when Jennifer takes Needy to see a rock band from the city that has a gig at a local bar in Devil Kettle, the girls’ rural hometown. And like everything else in the film, the labels and names are self-consciously cool, reeking of hipsterdom. The bar catches fire, and many are killed either by the fire or by being trampled, but the band “saves” Jennifer in a sinister plan to ensure their success in the music business (“Like the guy from Maroon 5”); they sacrifice Jennifer to the devil’s altar, failing to realize they have messed up the ritual. The ritual called for the sacrifice of a genuine virgin, which Jennifer is most definitely not. As a result, she becomes a succubus, and she starts feeding on young men (not the cool kind of feeding).
Karyn Kusama’s inept direction trods along, taking itself too seriously. She holds back with the true horror and doesn’t play up the humorous parts enough. Instead she relies on Fox to deliver Diablo Cody’s insipid teenspeak dialogue about vaginal products to sell things. Because Fox is now a huge star (thanks Michael Bay), she’s not any more revealing in Jennifer’s Body than she is in any issue of Maxim. If you’re wanting to see Megan Fox look sexy, grab a magazine and skip this movie so you won’t have to hear her desperately try to act.
