Sorry Bracken please don’t print this. I couldn’t afford to pay money and put myself through that awful movie. I hope you think it’s funny.

Thanks, Red. Anyways, I looked on all of the marqees but couldn’t find a remake of Hungry Wives, so I guess I’ll write about the old one.

Season of the Witch is one of those movies where the dir. had finally found a nicer camera, but then his sophomore slump after Night of the Living dead just continued on until Dawn of the Dead. Case in point: Crazies remake. Joan, the Pittsburgh housewife is fraught with dreams of her husband’s (Bill Thunhurst) shoving deviled eggs in his mouth while reading the paper in the forest. In ’71, plenty of movies started throwing synthesizers and jarring ..ahem nondiegetic sounds in the background to induce the effect of disorientation. Or something more sinister, I’m not sure.

The scene with Gregg preaching and Shirley tossing back drinks is tops. He thumps piano keys and tells the ladies about well… voodoo, really and other things. But it quickly crashes into a scuzzy romp. Basically Gregg tries to trick sloppy Shirley into smoking weed. Her friends abjectly disapprove but Shirley’s more than willing to participate. She thinks she goes nuts. La da. It’s more like an SNL skit than a horror movie, but anyways right right let’s move on.

Joan takes a trip to the bookstore, learns about black magic spells and shooting finger lazers and mixing up rat gizzard brew. Joan’s dreams turn (slightly) more terrifying and begin to include a man with a Satan mask on. Not Satan himself, mind you. That’s another movie, called Rosemary’s Baby.

So Joan thinks she’s a witch… power of the mind and all that. But little does she know Gregg was just kidding about all of that stuff. Then she accuses him of projecting his sexual feelings on Shirley. Then Gregg calls her Mrs. Robinson. I’m still not seeing how this is a horror movie. Uh… then Nikki, Gregg’s young friend, shaves her head. No wait, she runs away. I haven’t watched it in a long time. Basically the rest of the movie drags on. Gregg keeps calling her “lady” and convinces her their relationship is strictly physical (by pinning her to the ground).

The movie sort of ends with a cauldron and some fire and then Joan imagines this silver faced creature chases her to the basement where she tries to shoot it with a shotgun. She fails, but then the film cuts and her husband is chatting with his coworker. He tries to walk in the house and Joan shoots him in the face.

A witch world induction scene follows with some weird recitation rituals. This is trailed by a party scene with gabby, dainty fourty something women and witches. The truth is out. -Ha hee la de oh no one holds such qualms about witches anymore!- Listen, this movie is strange but I’m sure it’s better than that Nick Cage one.