Coach Munch

Yo, the Train Daddy is back once again and there is a lot going on here in the sports world. The NBA has become a joke, but I praise college basketball and the greatness of March Madness. Its bracket is the best playoff system in sports; that’s why it’s called the big dance. The NBA playoffs should be called the Dirty White Man Tango, because Refs and Dirty White Men decide what the outcome is, while in college ball Cinderella has the chance to dance all the way to a championship.

I just know that these Union punks and owners better reconcile so the NFL can keep on keeping on and my Titans squad can start fresh.

I am a true blue Titans fan; believe that, haters! I bleed code blue, and my fans know that. I am behind the new staff all the way, and new ideas and big things are ahead for my squad. There is no Taco, no Grizzly Ugly Uhggly, no Albert Headstomper; it’s all fresh. My ball club is going to serve other clubs like Subway serves America. Fresh baby, and they will make a cheap date out of you on Sundays. My man Mike Munchak has put together a fresh group of coaches, so let’s get to work, baby!

The mess surrounding the NFL has been talked about daily on ESPN over the past year, and every day we get closer to the deadline and no resolution. On Feb. 25 the Union Executive Director DeMaurice Smith and four of the league’s most prominent agents all met and put on a unified front at this year’s annual scouting combine. A text sent to ESPN analyst Adam Schefter from one of the agents present at the meeting, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he was not optimistic about any of the progress regarding the situation. The hope is the Union and the NFL can agree on a new collective bargaining agreement before the current deal expires March 3, which is the same day this article will be available to my loyal sports fans. Ultimately, owners want a greater percentage of the $9 Billion in annual revenue that is shared with players. Other topics would be a rookie wage, benefits for retired NFL players and a push to expand the regular season from 16 to 18 games while reducing 2 pre-season games.

It all comes down to more money, more problems and these rich white men better get their heads out of their asses and come to an agreement for the sake of the greatest game in the world. Someone better man up, be a vocal leader, and convince these punks to do what’s right.

During a recent SEC basketball game between Vanderbilt and Tennessee, ESPN’s cameras caught “Mr. C,” Vanderbilt’s mascot, crowd surfing through the student section at Memorial Gymnasium. But crowd surfing isn’t all that Mr. C did. We’re not sure what happened to cause what transpired next, but as Mr. C is lowered down, he gives one fan a clear, right-handed punch to his nose. The blow was so hard that it drew blood from the fan, who tried to stem the bleeding with some newspaper before heading out of the stands. All I know is that Mr. C proved to the whole nation, he isn’t playing around; he will knock even his own people out.

So it is a fresh start for the Tennessee Titans and after last season ladies and gentleman I honestly believe that is what they need. The army will be lead by new head coach Mike Munchak. So let me tell you a little about the new ball club’s leader. Mr. Munchak was born in 1960 and played college ball as an offensive lineman for Penn State. After his college career, he was drafted in the first round eighth overall in the 1982 draft by the Houston Oilers. As the first offensive lineman taken in that year’s draft, he quickly earned respect his rookie year and remained at that position for 12 years. He was also selected to the 1980s all-decade team. As a player I am very impressed.

One year after he retired as a player, Munchak joined the Oilers’ staff in 1994 as an offensive/quality control coach. In 1997, he was named offensive line coach where he remained for 14 seasons, until recently this year after Jeff Fisher’s retirement Munchak was finally named head coach of the Tennessee Titans.

We also have a new offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator and pretty much new staff all across the board. We have the old and experienced Chris Palmer at offensive coordinator and the young, fiery Jerry Gray at defensive coordinator. Dave Ragone, Art Valero, Chet Palavecchio and Arthur Smith are some of the new names at the specialty coaching spots.

Palmer, born in 1949 (wow 62, well alrighty then; I hope he doesn’t pass out on the sideline! It’s a long stretch to run a successful offense through a whole season), is a former head coach of the Cleveland Browns and the UFL’s Hartford Cardinals, and also a former assistant coach for the Texans, Jaguars, Patriots and Oilers. He has also been a quarterback coach for the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants. The man has been around the block once or twice.

I am wary of this choice at offensive coordinator; I hope the old age and experience is something that will benefit this offense. He has one of the biggest tasks of any of the coaches, he has to find a quarterback, fit him into a new scheme and get these young cats to learn a thing or two from his experience. I hope Palmer works out, because the play of offense over the next couple years will make or break this new coaching carousel.

Well, what about Gray? I am excited about this cat. I believe one day he will possibly have a chance to be a head coach in the league if he stays successful. Turning the Titans defense back into shape would be another great thing to throw on the old resume. Jerry was born in 1962, a former cornerback especially known for super hard hits on opposing players, selected to four pro bowls. He played for the Rams, Oilers and Bucs and turned to coaching right after he retired from the game as a player. He was the defensive backs’ coach on the Titans’ 1999 Super Bowl team in 1999.

Former Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams left the Titans after that year and was hired as the head coach of the Bills, and took Jerry with him to run the Defense. Jerry Gray ran a very successful defense from 2001-05; the Bills ranked second in total defense in the 2003 and 2004 seasons. In ’05 he was hired as the defensive backs’ coach for the Washington Redskins. In 2010 he was the defensive backs’ coach for the Seahawks and is now the defensive coordinator for the Titans. He has been successful and has his eye on the prize. I know that cat wants to be a head coach one day, so he needs to bring this defense back to hard hitting, head stomping madness that plays every game like it’s the Super Bowl.

Look for full March Madness coverage in the next issue. And why I think the NBA is a joke. College basketball and the bracket is one of the most exciting and best playoff systems in sports.

So this is the end of my sexiness in paper form. Is it the end of Bruce Pearl? Ha! It’s really not funny, I am a Tennessee basketball fan, and he is making a mockery out of the university, and I loved the man. He was docked $1.5 million, not allowed to recruit off campus for a year, and suspended 8 games for last year’s violations. We now have new violations. Awesome! They say he had a recruit over for barbecue this year, lied to the NCAA about it, and a supposed 96 impermissible calls were made to recruits from him and his staff this year.

All I know is I am going to keep on giving you, my loving, loyal sports readers, sports in a legal, funny yet sexy way every time. I just hope Bruce gets his act together, because that stuff don’t look good. I know that he is liked by players and fans. He is a good coach, but these violations will change all that real fast. Come on Pearl!

Alright, so the Train has to roll out of the station. If you see a hater on the street, don’t stab him. Just give him the legendary Albert Haynesworth Head Stomp! Holla at ya boy!