Choo-choo, the Train Daddy is rolling out the station once again, and ready to share some sports knowledge with you punks! We have a lot to talk about this month, but I am going to keep it basic and pretty much keep with my roots, Titans football, baby! As much as I love basketball and the playoffs, I will save that talk for the next issue. It may be basketball time here in America, but I do what I want, and this issue is only for the most passionate of Titans Fans, the ones who would bleed for the cause, the ones who pee Code Blue, as I do!
About 12 years ago I woke up one morning and realized I was urinating a color that was not normal, a light shade of blue. That same day I freaked out, thinking I had some sort of infection, so I went to see a doctor and the diagnosis was loyalty. I had been diagnosed with a rare disease named Titans Tinkle, and as long as my passion for the Titans remained at a high level, there was no cure for the color of my pee. For the rest of my life I will tinkle a light shade of Code Blue. It’s a high price to pay, but worth every tinkle knowing my passion and love for the Titans will one day result in a Super Bowl victory, I promise!
The NFL draft has passed and I am proud to say I was happy with the moves the Titans made. They were solid picks, unlike the Dallas Cowboys’, who were just awful! The Jets and fat boy Rex Ryan screwed over Tim Tebow, and it was dirty; the first openly gay athlete comes out the closet, and I love tuna on whole wheat. If you want to talk food, ask the Captain Mayo, Editor in Chief, to explain the “Roast Beef Song”; man, it will have you salivating. “Roast beef, mac and cheese, tomatoes and beans, come on, come on” . . . let’s talk sports now!
Offensive guard Chance Warmack. Photo by Brian Spurlock.
Let’s start with the Tennessee Titans’ first-round pick Chance Warmack. The 6-foot-2 guard, who weighs in at 317 pounds, has rare power; he can explode with his hips and get movement against larger players. This is what sets Chance apart from other offensive lineman — the power to anchor, the power to explode against larger people. Warmack made it no secret he was interested and wanted to play for the Titans; he will be coached by two Hall-of-Fame guards, Coach Munchak and O-Line coach Bruce Matthews. This is comparable to a rookie quarterback getting drafted by a team and being coached by Dan Marino and John Elway. Warmack gets a special opportunity to soak in knowledge from two of the greatest at his position. Warmack will join former Bills guard Andy Levitree as likely starters in the Titans revamped O-Line; this duo is primed to be one of the best in the league from the get-go.
The Titans gave up 471 points last season, the most in franchise history, and yet the first two picks were on offense. With the second pick in the draft the Titans moved up six spots in the second round to grab former Vols wide out Justin Hunter, marking the second straight year the Titans drafted a receiver early. The Titans did mortgage a bit of their future to get Hunter, trading a 40th overall pick, a 7th-round pick and a 2014 third-round selection to the 49ers, to nab the receiver at the 34th spot. Hunter has obvious up-side due to his combination of size and speed, Hunter was outshined this past season by Cordarrelle Patterson (who was drafted by the Vikings at 29th overall), but given the knee injury Hunter suffered as a sophomore, many believe he has some serious untapped potential and was the most intriguing receiver in the draft. Hunter will join a receiving corps that has solid potential, joining forces with Nate Washington, Kendall Wright and Kenny Britt. If Britt can stay healthy and out of jail, this group could be lethal. With the first two picks alone and the additions made during free agency, I feel very comfortable saying this about Jake Locker. Jake “the Snake” Locker has got to make huge strides and improvements this season or be prepared to sit on some other team’s bench. I like the kid, but I don’t trust him yet! With a better crop of receivers and a new guard to help open holes for Chris Johnson, the Titans should, and have to, be able to move the ball better. Justin Hunter has a big frame and should be a red-zone threat and reliable target for Jake. It’s time to put up or shut up for Jake. He has had a couple seasons to learn and watch and has gotten plenty of playing time in between learning the system called the NFL. The Titans organization focused on offense and they have given Jake the tools to get better, I didn’t say he had the tools to dominate the league, but to get better.
Justin Hunter comes to the Titans from the University of Tennessee
Let’s bring up one more draft pick; in the third-round at the 70th overall pick the Titans finally addressed the defense and selected cornerback Blidi Wreh-Wilson. Many professional scouts regarded Wilson as the most intriguing prospect among defensive backs. The fact is, the Titans needed help and size at secondary; the 6-foot-1 corner has the versatility to play inside and out and has the length to play press with wide receivers at the line of scrimmage. Reportedly, Wilson lacks the overall skills to be trusted in strictly man coverage and is better when playing off and when he gives the receiver space, being more physical and reducing the chance of getting beaten by a faster receiver; once beaten, he lacks the speed to catch the receiver.
I praise all of the Titans’ draft picks up until the fourth pick, where they wasted a pick on Zaviar Gooden, a small linebacker out of Missouri built on nothing but speed. Bad pick. The Titans needed depth at safety and defensive end, plus the Titans used second-round picks the past two drafts on linebackers; Gooden was drafted as a backup.
So let’s get away from Titans football and talk about how the New York Jets have mistreated and abused the man named Tebow. Could the New York Jets have hated Tebow any more? They ended the awkward relationship by dumping him on the first Monday after the NFL draft, knowing other teams’ rosters would be filled and Tim’s chances of finding a job, well, don’t look promising. After appearing in only 77 total offensive plays last season, my question is, “Why did the Jets want Tim in the first place?” The Jets pursued him, fought the Jaguars to get him and gave up a draft pick, on top of paying him. Maybe it was jealousy. Their neighbor, the Giants, had just won the Super Bowl, and maybe they wanted some news coverage. I wouldn’t sign Tebow if I owned an NFL team. The only place I saw him being valuable was in Jacksonville, his hometown, and on a struggling team, a team that can’t sell tickets. Tebow would have helped. I get that Tebow is unconventional and a wreck when it comes to fundamentals, but the man is a team player and I believe there is something he can do to help a team, just not behind center. All I am saying is fat boy Rex Ryan issuing a statement saying “thank you, Tim, for staying in shape” is a slap in the face. Tim went to New York, where Rex runs that circus act, and Tim wasted a year of his life, being treated like a donkey. That’s all I have to say about that.
NBA center Jason Collins came out of the closet in a Sports Illustrated interview.
On to another story: On the same day Tebow was let go, history was made when Jason Collins, a 34-year-old NBA center, has publicly come out of the closet, becoming the first openly gay athlete to be playing in a major American team sport. He chose sausage and I can’t knock him for it. It’s not my cup of tea. I have always loved the ladies, they’re so lovely, but some people choose to live the way they want, and no one has a right to judge. We all have a right to live free, the way we feel, so good for him.
OK, it’s time to wrap this thing up. Like I always say, a great idea for all you gentleman out there, safety first! All you die-hard Titans fans out there who have Titans Tinkle as I do, don’t be ashamed that you urinate Code Blue. There are others out there like you. We are a brotherhood of Dedicated Titan-Loving Passionate Fans, who live, eat and breathe Titans football! Anyone out there who reads this and thinks that I am strange, well, if you urinate yellow, you just don’t understand my passion… or you are one of those dirty, passionate towel-swinging Steelers fans. It is a normal thing all across the country. I have an uncle who urinates orange; it’s Rocky Top all the way for him. All you people out there who add a little color to the toilet bowl, your passion for your team is well represented and respected, and it is fans like you who make the sports world such a great one.
To recap, Jake Locker better be preparing and working as hard as Peyton Manning does, because it is time to put up or shut up. The Titans organization has made the offense around him clearly better, so it’s time for a season where progression is the key word! Like Albert Head Stomping Haynesworth, if you see a hater stomp some heads.
