Attention good people of the ‘Boro, the Train Daddy is ready to roll out the station, and since this Train doesn’t ride without you the loyal reader, I have a gift for my loyal fans, right now! The Z-Train is handing out boarding passes like the government hands out food stamps, free of charge and everyone is invited, so all aboard the Z-Train, destination set for Football Paradise, and yes, Lady Football will be there.
Anniston
In a past article, back in 2011, I explained why people in general typically suck and can’t be trusted, but the beautiful Lady Football will never let you down. Lady Football has the bodacious bust of Katy Perry, the gorgeous face of Megan Fox, the classy, elegant body of Jenifer Aniston, and the survival skills of Katniss Everdeen; she is a full-bodied women. Some say Lady Football is a myth, but unlike Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster, I have seen and partied with this beautiful Lady Football. The story starts back in 1890 where alien forces came to earth, and harvested the best of features from women on earth, and created the first Lady Football, for us to enjoy. The Aliens enslaved Lady Football on a distant planet named Football Paradise, where only the truest of football fans can enjoy her company. Every 60 years the Aliens come back to earth and create a new Lady football as time progresses, back in 1950 the second Lady Football was created, and now here in 2010 the third Lady Football is real and lives on. Believe me or not, I speak the truth.
Jake Locker
The Titans wanted to keep former Vol Justin Hunter in Tennessee.
This article hits the stands on Sept. 5, the same day the NFL kicks off the regular season. College ball is also underway and as exciting as ever, with Johnny Football stirring up the pot and signing dollar, dollar bills ya’ll.
Since Lady Football is still on your mind it’s time to talk actual football talk. There is not much of anything other than the start of a new football season that gets me this excited; it’s up there with Christmas and Thanksgiving, and I love the holidays. The excitement of being at a live game tailgating with friends and family, the food, the drinks, the jerseys, the smell of excellence on a fall day as you wear your team’s colors and cheer ’til you lose your voice. This is America baby, this is America’s game, America ’s favorite pastime and if you can’t respect that, then you should pack up and head north to Canada, maybe hockey is your thing; here in Tennessee, we do football.
The Me-Ma knows this; she knows what a new football season means. Even with the assistance of an oxygen tank, the Me-Ma is as passionate and dedicated as any fan. For those who don’t know the Me-Ma, she is the most dedicated Titans fan I know, she bleeds code blue, and has a special double bump-bump dance that she believes has magical powers and helps propel the Titans to victories. So what am I getting at here? I am telling you that football brings together friends and family and that a passionate fan like the Me-Ma is the kind of person who makes this game so excellent, and why football plays such an important part in the lives of myself, my friends and my family. You can think I am crazy, but I tell you there are many people out there who think the same, and football brings them closer to their loved ones.
I may always talk NFL football, but I love college ball almost as much as I do the pros. The Tennessee Vols kicked off their 2013 Season with a 45-0 win vs. Austin Peay, and while everyone knows Austin Peay is garbage, it was impressive the way the Vols defeated them with zero penalties in the season opener. With the win the Vols became only the second team in SEC history to reach 800 total wins and only the eighth team in all of college football to hit that mark. Tennessee is 87-24-6 in season openers and it’s refreshing to see new excitement in Big Orange country. Butch Jones says he is determined to rebuild the once-proud college football program from the bottom up. I hope Jones is ready to bring Big Orange back to the promised land; it’s been a long wait. I like what I saw from the Vols, a lot of fresh young talent and good things will come to the Vols in the coming years.
It was once unthinkable that Vanderbilt would be the program to beat in Tennessee; well, that has been the case as of late. Coach James Franklin has Vandy making great strides and with the program making two consecutive bowl game appearances, they’re heading in the right direction. Although Vanderbilt did lose their season opener vs. Ole Miss—in one of the best games I have ever watched, a true classic this early in the season—a college football season can take many crazy turns, so you never know what will happen.
So let’s wrap this thing up with a little Titans talk (always wrap it up gentlemen!). I can read the Titans like a classic novel. It’s simple for me, it is all up to Jake the Snake Locker and Coach Munchak, everything else is in place. Jake really needs to be a leader and I need to see smart passes and true grit from the kid. Coach Munchak, I need some fire and passion not your normal dumbass look I am used to. The offensive line is the most improved area for the Titans, and it is a wall that not even a group of Mexicans could get over. This O-Line will do wonders in the running game and I expect Chris Johnson and Shonn Greene to be a classic smash and dash combo. It could be record setting in the run game.
The Titans receivers also have been put into place with talent up and down. Veteran Nate Washington may not be a superstar, but he is a solid veteran who makes big plays and helps these young kids out. With a healthy Kenny Britt the possibilities are endless; he has the talent to be a household name and true star. I am so excited to watch Kendall Wright, a 2012 first-round pick, and Justin Hunter, this year’s second-round pick; I hope they breakout. The receivers are primed to make big plays this season; once again, it’s all up to Jake Locker!
The defense looked rough in their first couple pre-season games, but have come alive here down the stretch. They are quick they get to the quarterback and they cause offensive lines to fall apart. I am worried about the run defense, and week 1 vs. The Steelers will show us a thing or two about the run defense for the Titans.
Besides that, Rob Bironas will make his kicks and the fans will do their part also. I am hoping for an improved, and possibly playoff, season for a team I believe has the talent to get there.
That’s it everyone, I have told you the secret of Lady Football, I have explained my love for football and I have once again told you about the greatest fan out there, the Me-Ma. The Vols and the Titans have both been down for a while, down in the dumps really, but both have shown signs of improvement. All I ask is that both teams continue to grow every year; continuing to grow will eventually lead to a National Championship or Super Bowl title. If I can have one of those in the next four years I will be a happy Z-Train.
So spark up the grill, host a party, invite friends and family, go to live games, enjoy America’s greatest game. I know I will. The Z-Train is rolling out the station. Choo choo!
