To behold the authenticity of another in a moment of pure witnessing is as rare as it is profound. You are probably familiar with the term “being fully present” or “live in the now.” My favorite meaning of those terms is to be aware of exactly where you are and what you are doing at any given time. Don’t think about having to pick up food for your dinner party while you’re at your child’s soccer game. Really be a part of the activity by listening to the sounds of cheering, running, coaching, watching expressions on the faces of the players. This will help you to be more present. Being a true witness goes a little beyond just being present. To be a true witness you must be present in silence and observation only. Have the ability to take in all that you are watching or listening to, without responding in any way.

A few excerpts from Webster’s definition of witness include: 1. To see, hear or know by personal presence and perception. 2. A person who is present at an occurrence, especially one who is a able to attest as to what took place 3. beholder, observer, looker, viewer, watcher.

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. How often do you find yourself listening to someone talk and you interject commentary or nod approval or disapproval of what they are talking about? Perhaps you feel you need to make a comment in order to assure them that you are really listening. Or worse, you pretend to listen and nod politely, while your mind is adrift with your own thoughts. What if, however, you simply witnessed completely? No noises, sounds, responses, just listen. Just observe. Look. Behold. Take it all in. Whether you find it boring, interesting, exciting, detailed, repetitious or notice the use of improper grammar—what could you learn about an individual beyond what they are saying?

We are so quick to want to make some sort of statement or verbal noise that we may actually miss a point or overlook a pause or subtle body language that could be so important to what is being shared. What knowledge or qualities could you detect in another simply by witnessing fully? What kind of an impact could you have on another by giving such complete, unconditional and undivided attention?

Try this experiment: find a friend, family member, coworker or a stranger. Let them know you’d like them to speak while you simply listen. Have them pick a topic or choose something simple like “describe an apple in 60 seconds.” Once they begin, just look at them without expression. Do not make any facial movements, sounds or use any body language. Your sole mission is to listen and take in what is being said. Once the time is up, notice what it felt like to do this. Did you pay attention more fully? Did you pick up on any mannerisms or details in the person? Did you find yourself being distracted by other things or thoughts? If you did, were you able to go back to just listening/witnessing?

Ask them what it felt like to be witnessed in such a manner. What did they notice about sharing and having it received in this way? Did it feel awkward or was it supportive? Did they internally keep waiting for you to react in some way?

Now, in addition, repeat back to them what they shared with you or anything you may have noticed during this exchange. Try this practice of engaged witnessing the next time someone says “hey, I need to talk to you about something”. Pay attention and notice, notice, notice. The art of listening and witnessing can be developed. You may find yourself more in tune with those around you. You may also experience a greater sense of calm.

Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported. ~ healthyplace.com