Have you ever had a dream or a goal that you felt happy about having accomplished? I have achieved many goals in life, and there has certainly been a feeling of satisfaction from having attained them. However, genuine happiness is more than a feeling of satisfaction. I believe this sense of satisfaction from our accomplishments, however grand or small, increases our confidence, which affects our happiness quotient, in turn making us feel more connected to a purpose in life and compelling us to do more and this is what builds what we feel at our core. What is this core? It is the very deepest part of ourselves, the essence of who we are. It is what people recognize when they see you, or think of when you come to mind.
People who know me have often asked “are you always this happy?” The answer is yes, deep in my core, I am happy. I am not, however, immune to disappointments, frustrations, struggles, sadness or emotional pain. Each time I experience an accomplishment (which, on some days, could be as simple as getting out of bed), it brings a sense of satisfaction that of course leads to the aforementioned. I feel the most joy and inner happiness when I can bring a smile to someone else’s day. Regardless of how I may be feeling, my desire to help others is greater than the urge to unload my momentary woes onto them. There is a time and place for that, and to me, it is not in public or at the expense of not being there for others who need a little “pick me up.” More often than not when I am feeling down, the moment I can engage with someone who needs a hug, a listening ear or a smile is the moment when I forget what was ailing me. In any case, it certainly seems to bring a different perspective to whatever is troubling me.
I have also seen that happiness can mean different things to different people. One such description I heard about years ago, the “3 Keys to Happiness,” remains a personal favorite. The first is being positioned to do work that you love—in other words, something you like so much that you would do it even if you weren’t paid. There is no worse feeling than to do something hour after hour, day after day, that you dislike. This can take a very subtle emotional toll that affects all areas of your life until, one day, you wake up and don’t even know who you are. In some cases, you may not even feel that you know why you exist. The good news is you can prevent this. Identify what you like to do, and what makes you feel good inside. Then you can begin to look for work that supports this. Don’t put it off. Every moment you delay adds to the feeling of dissatisfaction and chips away at genuine happiness.
Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. — Frank Tyger
The second is having someone to love. Most people want that special someone who will share all of their joys, triumphs and sorrows. I don’t believe we need another person to “complete us,” but I do believe it is critical to have someone to share our lives with. This could be family, friends, coaches or counselors who have our best interest—our happiness—at heart. It is also important to be selfless and express the genuine love we have inside of us. For some, it is given to a beloved pet, and for some it is a significant other. Some give to organizations and volunteer work. No matter what form it comes in, it is important to love.
True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self. — Joseph Addison
The third is having something to look forward to. For the everyday, this would include looking forward to what your day holds when you are doing something you love or sharing dinner with your loved one at the end of the day. When you have plans to attend a concert or an event, are planning a vacation, or you are starting a new business or hobby, you get all excited about just the anticipation alone. Your mind is active and engaged in planning the details, looking at different aspects of making your adventure great. What seats will you choose to see your concert, what will you wear, who will you go with? The excitement of this kind of anticipation alone brings happiness. People can see and feel the enthusiasm.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. — Helen Keller
When you are approaching your dream or accomplishing your goal, be sure to develop another dream or goal so that you always have something to look forward to. Create a sense of adventure each day by discovering something new. Do it with a loved one or friend so you can share your enthusiasm. Remember, even if it’s work-related, write it down and feel the anticipation of accomplishment waiting for you. Go to bed with your list of things (not too many) you want to accomplish the next day. Remember, the feeling of satisfaction will add to your feeling of accomplishment, which will increase your confidence and add to your core of happiness!
