Growing up, my world was limited to the places where I could ride my bike or drive with my parents. As technology evolved, communication transformed from receiving letters in the mailbox to hearing AOL’s iconic “You’ve got mail,” which opened the door to chat rooms (quite an experience, if you were around at that time).

Today the world is at our fingertips, including our children, grandchildren and friends, those we know and those we don’t. Our neighborhoods, schools, and places of worship are no longer the only spaces for connection; now we can go online and communicate with people from across the globe.

In today’s digital landscape, keeping children safe online is a top priority for parents and guardians. The internet provides opportunities for learning and connection. From social media and gaming consoles to school tablets, the average child has more access to the world, but this access comes with its share of risks.

The most common question I hear from parents isn’t about specific apps or technical settings; it’s about balance: “How do I know what my kids are doing online without invading their privacy?”

This question touches on both safety and trust. The answer varies by age and maturity level, and the approach evolves as your children grow.

For younger children, I recommend that you keep devices in family spaces and be transparent about your oversight. “I’m checking your tablet to ensure you’re safe.”

For middle schoolers, consider yourself a coach rather than a referee. Discuss monitoring openly: “I have trust in you, but my job is to keep you safe until you can recognize all the dangers yourself.”

With teens, shift to a mentoring role. Would you believe me if I told you that surveillance without conversation rarely works? Ask questions like “have you seen anything unusual online lately?” rather than immediately grabbing their phone.

Your Wi-Fi is the front door to your family’s online world. Would you leave your actual front door unlocked?

Most modern routers come with built-in security features that are surprisingly easy to activate: Change those default passwords (you know, the ones on the sticker that say “admin/admin”). Enable parental controls through your internet provider’s app—Xfinity’s xFi and AT&T’s Smart Home Manager make this almost effortless.

These basics can provide a layer of protection with minimal setup:

On Apple devices, Screen Time allows you to set content and time limits in just a few taps (Settings > Screen Time > App Limits/Content & Privacy Restrictions).
Google Family Link offers similar protection for Android users and is completely free.

Gaming consoles are often overlooked, but Xbox, PlayStation, and Nintendo all have strong family settings—make sure to use them!

Here’s the truth: no technical solution is foolproof. The most substantial protection isn’t software; it’s conversation.

Start discussions early and keep them ongoing. Use real-world examples: “I saw this news story about a child who shared too much information online. What would you do in that situation?”

Establish that coming to you about uncomfortable online encounters won’t result in punishment or device confiscation. Kids who fear losing access often hide problems until they escalate.

Here are a few resources when you need specific guidance:

Internet Matters (internetmatters.org) offers device-specific setup instructions with screenshots.

Family Online Safety Institute (fosi.org) provides its “7 Steps to Good Digital Parenting.”

Our Kids Center (ourkidscenter.com) specializes in digital safety education for families.

The Technology Engagement Center (rclstn.org), a Rutherford County Library System branch, offers hands-on workshops and personalized support for families navigating digital challenges.

I don’t want to burst your bubble; perfect digital protection is a myth. However, as technology evolves, children and adults should develop skills to navigate online spaces safely and confidently.

The digital landscape our children live in today vastly differs from what we experienced growing up, and it will continue to change before adulthood. The most effective protection isn’t found in apps or settings; it’s in raising children who understand their connected world’s wonders and risks.