Rating: 4 Pulses

Rated R

Sit through the 162-minute runtime (you did it thrice for effin’ Frodo). Get over the occasional miscast role, rubbery geezer make-up and Dr. Manhattan’s glowing junk. Laugh at the cheesy awkward sex scenes and give yourself up to the Watchmen.

To some, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s 1987 comic series “Watchmen” is the bible, the pinnacle achievement in illustrated storytelling. To others, it’s as obscure as the Principia Discordia. Should you fall into the latter category, take heed not to take your children to this “super-hero” movie.

Watchmen is Moore’s deconstruction of the masked heroes of yore. It’s their dirty laundry all laid out; Black-suit Spiderman times a million dead bodies. It’s Superman quitting earth in apathy. It’s Batman raping Batgirl as the world falls apart around them.

It all begins with the death of the Comedian (Morgan), a cigar-chomping fascist and all-American brute whose only way to cope with the joke of human depravity is to embrace it. His murder sends the living ink-blot Rorschach (Haley) on a mission to uncover a plot to kill the few remaining masked adventurers: The Nite Owl hung up his feathers in compliance with the Keene Act, seemingly content but never complete without them. The Silk Spectre resents being raised to follow in her mother’s heroic footsteps. Dr. Manhattan (Crudup), the only super being in existence, is a man whose soft voice belies his god-like powers. And Ozymandias is the smartest, fastest and richest man alive.

The multigenerational tale of these altruistic, fetishistic and sadistic outsiders is set amidst an alternate past where the glowing blue presence of Dr. Manhattan leads to Nixon’s third term and the constant threat of nuclear war. Snyder vividly brings to life this world on the edge of destruction. The film is dense with colors and ideas, interweaving multiple storylines in space and time to create a rich and complex allegory of a frail humanity fighting for meaning and survival.

The fight scenes are neat-o too. Snyder’s trademark fast-slow-fast-motion style from 300 reappears, capturing snapshot frames from the comic and giving every pounding blow a visceral kick not found in the blurry quick-cuts of today’s drivel.

To the mega-fans and uninitiated alike, Snyder’s enthralling and respectful adaptation is not to be missed.