Barry Trotz has final won a Stanley Cup Playoff series as head coach of the Predators. (photo by Rich Lam)
It has been way too long my beautiful children of the ‘Boro—way too long since the Train Daddy has brought you sports in a hit-you-in-the-mouth, sexy kind of way.
As a sports writer, my official name is the Z-Train. They say if you take your first pet and the street name you grew up on, that’s your porn star name. If I was ever to be a porn star, my name would be Roxane Marymont. I guess it’s a good thing I am into sports and not porn.
The most exciting sports news I have for you this issue obviously would have to be the Predators finally giving its loyal fans what they have been waiting for and what they deserve. The NFL lockout is always an issue but what do you expect from a bunch of dirty, rich white men? It’s only the future of the greatest sport in the world at hand, no big deal.
It took the Predators 13 years and 34 playoff games, but finally, they have advanced to the second round of the NHL playoffs. The series win comes thanks to a 4-2 victory at home on Easter Sunday against the Ducks. After being eliminated in the first round six of the last seven years, I had nicknamed Barry Trotz the Jeff Fisher of hockey and we were way past due for a change. Coach Barry, in my mind, has been a lucky man to have stayed around this long, and he now has a golden opportunity. Even if Coach doesn’t take it all the way to the Stanley Cup, imagine this city if he makes it to the Western Conference finals. If the Predators win in the second round against the Canucks, it’s on. As of presstime, the series was tied 1-1 with my new hero Pekka Rinne taking goalie play to another level.
Nashville is passionate and full of sports fans. Wherever there is a loud party and excitement, a lot of people show up. This is an opportunity for the franchise to capitalize on gaining a lot of new fans. I am excited for Smashville and all the fang fingers. The fifth seed Predators ended the season with 99 points and were considered the underdogs in this first series. “Now we’re making history,” Coach Trotz said. “We’re trying to go deeper.”
Some of the stars of the first series were Jordan Tootoo and Shea Weber with 5 points each and Mike Fisher with 6 points. This team is young—the fifth youngest team in the league—and ready to battle it out. Lead us to the promised land, Coach Barry!
Jake Locker
The Tennessee Titans made a big splash in the draft. Jerry Gray as the Titans new defensive coordinator was given plenty of new talent to work with and offensive coordinator Chris Palmer has a new project in developing a rookie quarterback, not an easy thing to do. Some of Palmer’s past students are Eli Manning, Mark Brunell and Tony Romo who all improved their stats under Palmer. I am just thrilled that last month Coach Big Mike cleared up all rumors and said absolutely not, no Vince Young. I was a fan at one point, but time and time again he disappointed.
It was obvious that the Titans would address the quarterback situation first thing in the draft. The Titans took quarterback Jake Locker at the eighth spot and raised a couple heads with the decision. I had on my list Jake The Snake as the third best quarterback coming out of the draft, and I had Blaine Gabbert and Cam Newton at a very close 1 and 2. Cam went No. 1 to Carolina and Blaine was not projected to even be available at the 8th spot, but he was. The Titans took a gamble in my opinion and passed on the for-sure quarterback. I guess Bud Adams knows something I don’t. Jake Locker has much upside though; he is strong and smart, he is fast and accurate on the run and he has a bomb for an arm. One of his downsides is definitely his accuracy in the pocket, and that is something Chris Palmer is going to have to work on. I am excited with Locker because he can throw a pretty accurate long ball, and the Titans have struggled on big-time pass plays in the past.
It is time for someone to straight walk into this organization like John Wayne, ready to own it. This new quarterback Locker better be ready to bust caps, take names and be a Nashville superstar.
It’s going to be really interesting these next couple years to watch Locker and Gabbert grow as NFL players, because Blaine went to AFC South rival, the Jaguars. I have high hopes for you, Jake The Snake. I hope you are the answer. I hope you are a franchise quarterback that will make news and lead us to the promised land.
The Titans definitely addressed the defense taking six out of the nine picks on the defensive side of the ball, players like Akeem Ayers and Zach Clayton. Clayton reminds me of a crazy Kyle Van Den Bosh-type player. He is built like the Hulk and is crazy; he wants to kill quarterbacks. That’s what I need, baby! So a new quarterback I have high hopes for and a defense that struggled last season finishing 26th in total yards allowed. I hope the decision to load up on the defense is a success!
The Train Daddy is ready to do big things here. I feel like a new man. Just trust me, people, you are reading the work of a new, clean Train Daddy. So fresh and so clean. It feels good to wake up every day excited with a smile on my face. Every day, I wake up ready to do something crazy and new.
I can’t wait any longer for some football, and there are thousands out there just like me. It is fans like us that you wouldn’t want to be around if they really locked out the season; we might just snap and go crazy. So, commissioner, you better get your people to fix this problem or I might have to lead a riot of crazy football fans to a city near you. No football could result in fires, darkness and chaos. It would be much like hell. Mr. Commissioner, get you and your rich, dirty white men together and fix this now!
Alrighty then, my fans, the Train is rolling out of the station until next issue. I love my people; if you have any good comments, if you’re a hater or if you want to have a rap battle e-mail me at titanman1984@yahoo.com. I am out of the station, yo! CHOO, CHOO!
