It’s like Disneyland, only it’s the United States’ version set in the Middle East. It might not be as fun as Disneyland, but it’s just as ludicrous.

I was tempted to write about troop escalation in Iraq for the last issue, but it was before President Bush had officially declared plans for the “surge.”

And I thought that just maybe he would float back to sanity and decide an escalation at this point would be futile. It goes to show me; never doubt shortsighted shallowness.

The Associated Press reported that 21,500 troops are being sent to Baghdad in an attempt to stop the impending anarchy. The United States currently has about 144,000 troops in Iraq. Britain has an additional 7,000, and on top of that there are roughly another 20,000 mercenaries. So what more can 20,000 troops do at this point? There are no front lines to defend, and no power hungry dictators to overthrow. These additional 20,000 troops won’t be used to win a war; they’ll be used to police a city on brink of chaos.

If you jump over to any of the U.S. Armed Forces websites, you won’t see quelling a civil war under any of the job descriptions. And you’re not likely to see defeating an army of wolfmen either, mainly because neither is likely to happen.

That thing known as Ann Coulter recently tried to support President Bush’s plan by comparing Iraq to California and saying that Baghdad, like Los Angeles, is the focal point of violence because of the Bloods and the Crips. Apparently she’s never been to Oakland.

But, to expand on her analogy, if California were erupting in a civil war and French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin decided to send military forces to Los Angeles, he would probably only wind up creating a more hostile situation. President Bush understands the fighting between the religious sects of Iraq about as much as Dominique de Villepin understands the Bloods and Crips.

The fact is, there are no good solutions. President Bush said that if anybody happens to have a better solution to please tell him. Well, several people have given different plans to help secure Iraq including the Iraq Study Group. There are no good solutions because with the exception of President Bush, everyone knows how this will end. We will eventually pull out, regardless of the situation.

I’m not suggesting that I have a grand scheme to solve this mess, but I can offer one piece of future advice: how about from now on we only elect presidents who have at least a vague sense of history about the countries we invade.

But what do I know? Maybe we should all just do as Britney Spears says, and just follow Bush no matter how insane and idiotic the plan sounds.