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Steered Straight Thrift

I Know There Will be Football in Heaven

The Train Daddy is back with the pain, daddy, and ready once again to hit you punks in the mouth with some serious sports knowledge in a unique, yet unedited kind of way that only the Train Daddy can deliver, let’s roll baby! I had a thought not long ago, and asked my father if he thought there was Football in heaven, just like Tupac Shakur wondered if heaven had a ghetto. I doubt there is a ghetto in heaven, but football I think I can have a little more faith in. The afterlife is said to be an eternity, and I can’t imagine living an eternity with no football at all. The Bible doesn’t necessarily explain the layout of heaven; it does, though, describe a place of peace, a place where we will feel no more pain, a place where Christians will live in pure joy worshiping the true creator. If there was football in heaven, would God be the commissioner, and how would they go about drafting players for the teams? I would think players like Tim Tebow, Kurt Warner, Reggie White, Shaun Alexander and Steve Young would be high commodities after their passing in this world. I imagine a field made of pure gold, cheerleaders on the sidelines dressed as angels; I imagine the fans sitting in the clouds like the Care Bears cheering on their team, not fighting or cursing, just pure entertainment and joy. It would be the HFL, the Heavenly Football League, and Commissioner God would be a merciful commissioner.

Then I got thinking about hell, and if it would be possible for them to have a football league. I understand the Bible is clear that hell is no place you want to be and there will be no joy ever for a person sent there, so maybe their league would be run more like a prison camp. I imagine Satan would be the commissioner for the UFL, the Underground Football League, and he runs a hot mini-camp. Players like Aaron Hernandez, the man killer, or Michael Vick, the dog killer, Pac Man Jones making it rain or O.J. Simpson with one bloody glove could have a spot on the team. Who am I to question who will end up where? Only God can do that. I am just pointing out players who have been in the spotlight for awful things that hurt their credibility, and Ray Lewis, we know you got away with murder; what a player, though.

I hope no matter where you end up after this life, football follows.

So enough nonsense; I still have the imagination of a child, and that’s why my loyal readers stay loyal. Last issue I chimed in my opinions on the matter of racism in America and the Donald Sterling controversy. The article was well received and honestly received more praise than any other piece I have done over seven years of journalism. That’s a fact, Jack! Granted, I still received some backlash from some, but with a subject that is touchy and important to many, well you can’t please everyone. It’s almost an identical situation to what Stephen A. Smith is going through defending Mark Cuban’s comments in a recent interview. Smith, a well-known African-American ESPN sports analyst, simply defended Cuban’s comments that everyone has some prejudiced tendencies in their body and it’s normal. Smith was called an Uncle Tom, a sell-out, not a true black man; these are the things Smith stated he heard after his defense of Cuban. In the interview, Cuban talked of race and prejudices that exist in people of every color. Pretty much he was saying people judge, it’s part of life and anyone who says they don’t, well then there living in a world of no fear. Pretty much Mark was being honest, not a racist, not a bigot, but honest about how he perceives the world around him. Smith stated “are we going to sit here and literally act like we don’t have any prejudices.” Stephen also stated that Cuban made statements regarding both black and white people, and those upset with him should not expect an apology. I applaud Stephen A. Smith for defending someone who is speaking truthfully from the heart, not speaking in a manner of hate, but truth.

The other day I heard a discussion between some sports fans, and as I listened it just clicked. Ray Rice of the Ravens and Jim Irsay, owner of the Indianapolis Colts, well they’re lucky they didn’t say anything offensive. To be honest Donald Sterling would have been far better off if he would have beaten his girlfriend in an elevator, like Rice, or been caught with a felony possession of narcotics while committing a DUI, as the owner of the Colts did. These crimes have long been forgotten and barely even ruffled a feather. It’s funny which actions can condemn a person’s character in this country and which actions can be forgiven overnight. Former star tight end Aaron Hernandez can be involved in multiple murders and gang activity and what happens, his jersey sales go sky high on the Internet the following month. Then, an old senile man who is suffering with Alzheimer’s makes some racist comments in his own home, and instantly becomes the most hated man in America. Just think about that, and anyone with sense will know that something is fishy about the way this country condemns people’s actions.

So, the L.A. Clippers are to be sold for a reported $2 billion. Crazy! To understand this number, $550 million is the highest an NBA franchise has ever been sold for, prior to this. This number is crazy and Donald Sterling is seriously profiting here; his original $12 million investment is now going for $2 billion—serious profit. Experts projected the team would have only sold for around $600 Million prior to all this controversy. This wasn’t an investment for Steve Ballmer, former CEO of Microsoft who has a net worth over $20 billion, it’s a play toy. What a crazy story if you think about it: old man makes racist comments, gets banished from the league and now is selling his team for a crazy number that wouldn’t have been offered unless the controversy happened.

Onto the sports news that doesn’t really matter, but nonetheless gets attention, here’s some 50 Cent and Johnny Football talk. Pimpin’ ain’t easy; well, Pitchin’ ain’t easy either. Rapper 50 Cent threw out what is now considered the worst ceremonial pitch in the history of baseball. The Queens rapper took the mound prior to a Mets game against Pirates and launched the ball wide left of the catcher, almost hitting a cameraman. His pathetic toss went viral and was thrown into the mix of bad tosses such as Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory, Carl Lewis and fellow musicians Carly Rae and Mariah Carey. Later 50 stated the bad pitch was the work of his alter-ego Curtis Jackson, his birth name, stating 50 is the best. Does this hurt his street cred? Who knows. I do know my little sister throws a better pitch than that.

From 50 to Johnny, Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam, recently stated “This isn’t Hollywood. It’s Cleveland. It’s a blue collar town. We haven’t had success at the quarterback position in years. You’ve got to work hard to win the starting job.” Johnny do-no-wrong Football recently took a trip to Vegas, partying like a rock star, posting Instagram photos of himself with Pauly D from Jersy Shore, and that is the only real crime here. Former NFL MVP quarterback Rich Gannon even chimed in on his concerns of Johnny. There were pre-draft concerns already of his lifestyle, and while many think no big deal, being a signal caller requires professionalism. On May 9, his first day at the Browns complex Johnny stated “I know I need to put all my time right now into maintaining my life in football and trying to be as a good a quarterback as possible . . . Everything else is extra and really there is no time for it right now.” I hope in Vegas he learned a thing or two about being a better quarterback; these kind of things are what separate the average quarterbacks from the likes of a Manning a Brady a Brees or even a Rodgers.

The NFL draft is over and the Tennessee Titans have selected their future stars. The Titans first-round pick wasn’t sexy, but a step into the future of football in Tennessee. The Titans selected Taylor Lewan in the first round, an offensive tackle who is massive in size, a player who will be around for years to come. In the second round, the Titans addressed the departure of Chris Johnson and selected the first running back in the draft, Bishop Sankey out of Washington, who can handle a heavy workload. He is also a capable receiver out of the backfield, something Johnson was lacking. I love the pick. I was hoping the Titans would have picked up a quarterback with one of their next three picks, but they went with three straight defensive players, all who have potential but not worth talking about here. I will say though in the sixth round the Titans got lucky and took their man, Locker’s backup now. Zach Mettenberger, a quarterback out of LSU, to my surprise, was still available. Many experts had Zach graded as a second-round prospect, and they were lucky he was still around. The Titans must not have thought highly of the signal callers available in the third round and on, but maybe it was the right move picking up three defensive players prior to getting this talented player. Zach is a prototypical pocket passer and will work well in Whisenhunt’s system. I hope Jake can stay healthy and keep his career going in Tennessee, but if history tells us anything, he is very injury prone, and Zach very well may see the field this season.

Alright, well time to wrap this thing up, always a good idea, gentleman. I’m taking the Spurs in 6 vs. the Heat, doubt it, but I hope so. Come on, Timmy! I love watching the Heat, but it was a team deliberately put together for championships. I like the old men in San Antonio. Their grit and play is something special. Look to the next issue of the Pulse, I have a hunger to talk World Cup Soccer. Can’t wait! I love the World Cup. If there are 23 players better than the greatest American Soccer player in history, Landon Donovan, well, I like their chances of actually getting out of group play. Until next time, the Train’s out the station. Choo-choo!

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About the Author

The Z-Train is a Murfreesboro resident and enjoys all sports, but bleeds code blue for his beloved Titans, who will one sweet day bring home that beautiful Lombardi Trophy to Tennessee. Always remember the Train's big F's: Faith, Family, Friends, Food and FOOTBALL!

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