I have often said that stress doesn’t disappear from our lives, but how we manage it is within our control. You may not be able to avoid every situation or interruption to your life flow, but what can you do to minimize unpleasant or stressful outcomes? Learning to anticipate possible problems is a start. Is this a negative way of thinking? Absolutely not! It is a proactive approach to anticipating a potential need and handling it before it ever becomes an issue.

“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” – Abraham Maslow

This metaphor suggests that having a limited perspective can result in inadequate solutions to complex problems.

There are plenty of life experiences that will give you the ammunition you need to learn how to minimize disappointments or circumvent undesired outcomes. In a wonderful book called Upstream by Dan Heath, the author identifies the typical cycle of responses to problems. We are often stuck putting out fires, dealing with emergencies, handling one problem after another, keeping us “downstream” and never actually making our way “upstream” to fix the systems that caused the problems in the first place. Some examples are cops chasing robbers, doctors treating patients with chronic illnesses, and call center reps addressing customer complaints. But more times than not, crimes, chronic illnesses and customer complaints are all preventable. The book dives in to looking at why our emphasis seems to be on our efforts being reaction-based rather than how to prevent such problems in the first place. It also shares fabulous accounts of looking upstream—or at the root cause—and resolving longstanding problems, eventually eradicating the need to put out the continuous fires, previously the unquestioned and accepted behavior.

The Four A’s of stress management: When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four A’s: Avoid, Alter, Adapt or Accept. Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. You can probably think of a few scenarios where you’ve applied one of the Four A’s of stress management. Maybe you are uncomfortable around certain people and you choose to avoid them and not to put yourself in their company at all costs. Or maybe you alter your seat at the table to not have to deal with the discomfort. Perhaps you adapt and decide to make the best of the situation knowing it is short-term. Maybe you learn to accept the differences and simply go on about your business. Whatever you choose, you have identified a would-be problem and have chosen to manage and minimize, if not eliminate, it.

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” — Hans Selye

A few examples of preventing stress are: If you don’t like cleaning up a big mess, perhaps you a.) don’t throw a big dinner party; b.) have it catered; c.) do a potluck with all disposable dishes; d.) recognize that you enjoy the merriment more than you dislike cleaning up and learn to compromise the outcome. Or, you could always line up volunteers to help.

Maybe you are afraid of public speaking. You can a.) avoid doing any; b.) practice overcoming your fear; c.) feel the fear and do it anyway; d.) find someone else to take your place.

To manage the stress of taking on more tasks than you have time to do, a.) don’t take on more than you can manage; b.) delegate; c.) learn to say “no”; d.) just do the best you can with what you’ve committed to and do less the next time around.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” — William James

You have a deadline to get a project done but you wait until the last minute. To avoid such a situation in the future, you can prioritize tasks, choose not to procrastinate and create unnecessary pressure, enlist help if possible, or have an accountability partner to help keep you on task.

These are simple things that we’ve all done, and you can see that you have a choice in how you can prevent, handle or manage possible stressors. Look ahead, think of possible outcomes and be prepared. You wouldn’t host a concert without having access to bathrooms, a place to sit, trash receptacles, adequate parking and so on. In that situation you are being proactive to ensure as smooth an outcome as possible. Visualize the entire activity in your mind. Every detail, each item needed, and conveniences to make it as presentable as possible. Once you’ve forgotten an important feature, you know you will never forget it again. The experience will make you wiser. So, remember to look at each opportunity as an adventure of discovery. This is one major approach that will help you prevent or limit stressors in your life.

“Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.” — Albert Einstein

Remember the value of proactive thinking to avoid issues before they arise.