Imagine—you are hungry and can’t decide what you want to satisfy your hunger. You go to a buffet where there are countless options, flavors and styles, and you get to choose what you want, how much you want, and whether or not to go back for more. If you’ve never been to a buffet before, it might seem overwhelming. You get excited and start grabbing everything in sight. It doesn’t take long before your plate is full and you can’t fit any more on it. Yet, you look at the long rows of food you haven’t even made it to yet.
So many choices in life. What will you choose, and how do you decide?
“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” — John C. Maxwell
Without prior buffet experience or having tasted certain dishes, perhaps you make selections based on appearance, smell, type, title, description, or someone’s recommendation. You won’t know if it suits you until you try it. Do you play it safe and only select what’s familiar? How do you know if you will or won’t like something before you try it? Should you research a dish before selecting it? What are you drawn to? Is it actually healthy for you?
Sometimes we are drawn to things that aren’t necessarily good for our overall well-being. Sometimes there’s a negative or even violent reaction to what we choose. Additionally, not everything that shines (like opportunities, trends, or paths) is actually fulfilling or nourishing for you. It might look good, but in the end, it isn’t. Slow down long enough to pause and take a breath to consider this before choosing.
“Life is a buffet . . . and most poor bastards are starving to death.” — Auntie Mame
The life buffet is full of thoughts, opinions and ideas. What thoughts will you put on your plate? Would you select thoughts like “aging, unhealthy, dying, sick, unworthy, incompetent, incomplete, lonely, boring, sad, depressed, hostile, unlovable or angry?” OR, would you choose “happiness, love, friendship, kindness, fun, laughter, fulfilled, accepted, complete, adventurous, alive, awake or lovable?” These are the labels or types of nourishment you can choose from. Your plate can be filled and even overflowing. Your outcome is based on what you choose—what you cling to or are drawn to.
If you want to savor the flavor of a brownie, you don’t choose broccoli. You also don’t keep eating brownies until you are miserable. Too much of what you love isn’t necessarily good for you. Balance, portions and proportions are important in order to maintain a healthy, energized existence. The same is true for the thoughts you feed your mind.
“Most people are not really free. They are confined by the niche in the world that they carve out for themselves. They limit themselves to fewer possibilities by the narrowness of their vision.” — V.S. Naipaul
Life isn’t just the buffet. It’s also the size of your plate. If you just pile everything on you can feel overwhelmed, while others who curate more carefully can actually savor more. Do you want to live more fully or feel overloaded? Another option is to first do a walk-through the line before making any choices. Sometimes in life we commit too quickly to careers, relationships, routines, and haven’t given ourselves a chance to explore more before filling up our plate. You can always go back for seconds, or change your mind. You don’t have to have just one fixed plate. Reinvention isn’t failure, it’s a second helping.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities” — Albus Dumbledore (in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
Sometimes we fill our plate with what we were told should be on it—salad, fruit, expectations, traditional paths. Are you choosing it for yourself because it’s what you want, or what you were told belonged on your plate? Is that satisfying, or are you always longing for more? You also don’t have to take everything all at once. This is portion control. Some things in life are better when you wait for them. You don’t have to seize it just because it’s in front of you. Pace yourself.
A friend once told me he made a habit of taking a bite of food and chewing it thoroughly and swallowing before he took another bite. This allowed him to get every bit of flavor from each bite, appreciating, savoring, and enjoying it. There isn’t a need to rush to take the next bite or to devour life all at once. Take your time in the moment and enjoy all you can out of it before rushing to the next moment, party or event.
Sometimes your plate will be messy. Foods mixing, spilling over, looking chaotic. Life gets messy too, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, it means you’re living! Be careful of watching what other people have on their plates. Comparison at a buffet is pointless, as everyone has different tastes. Same with life paths. Another’s plate of food choices is not your hunger, nor is their path yours.
Be patient. Sometimes the simplest dish ends up being the most satisfying. In life it’s the small joys, meaningful connections, slow moments, the unexpected that can be life changing.
In the end, not everything gets eaten or chosen to be on the plate. Not every path is meant to be taken, and that’s okay. Your life is defined by what you decline as much as what you accept.
“The best way I can conceptualize this idea into a life philosophy is through a food analogy. Life is like eating at a buffet. Not just any buffet, the greatest buffet ever created.” — Ryan A. Ferguson
