On paper, the oddball combination of an off-beat director and an unlikely action star teaming up to reinvent a superhero franchise is a risky proposition. But after horror-meister Sam Raimi turned nerdy Tobey Maguire into a money-making web-slinger, and Christopher Nolan took a break from making filmic versions of the Rubik’s cube to revitalize Batman, this Hollywood risk removed its black-frame glasses to reveal its alter ego, Captain Cash-in!
More like . . . Craptain . . . Trash Bin, er something. Columbia Pictures hitched too much to Seth Rogen’s star, more Irony Man than Iron Man. Aye? Eh. Ostensibly lending a likeable quality to the newspaper-heir/all-around spoiled dick, Britt Reid, whose father’s sudden death leaves him in a very Batman situation, Rogen is given full reign to co-write his own miscasting. Lacking in any traits or abilities required of a successful masked crusader save for limitless funding, Britt solicits the mechanical and martial artistry of Kato (Chou), a former employee of his father’s who used to make Britt’s coffee.
Through a mutual dislike of dear, old, dead dad, overly talkative Britt and barely bilingual Kato team up to fight crime. The dynamic of rich American oaf and Asian superbadass carries the rest of the film, for better and worse. Their early hijinks play out like Pineapple Express; the duet of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” being especially ridiculous. But once Britt becomes jealous of his “sidekick,” the film falls into a shambles of whiny rich-bitch cliches, with Britt picking losing fights with his only friend, without whom, the Green Hornet would be impossible, and dead.
It’s hard to believe that the childlike, creative mind behind Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind could sink to such Observe and Report-like meanness. Gondry’s signature in-camera visual wizardry is seldom put to use in what are otherwise standard, though elaborate, action set pieces. With Seth Rogen more Observe than Superbad, and Gondry’s talents squandered and ill-fitting, the film’s last hope is villain Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz) whose obsession with being perceived as terrifying dilutes any residual menace on loan from his performance in Inglourious Basterds. Though the 3D version may slightly improve the experience, why not save four bucks instead? Four bucks!
