As a society we talk about parents who do not take responsibility or accountability for their children. Teachers complain about uninvolved, irresponsible parents. Christians complain about parents who allow their children to spend too much time on screens, video games and social media. What many fail to recognize is that there is actually an awakening happening. Home schooling is exploding. Many young couples are choosing having a family, home schooling and the restitution of the family unit over the lies they have been fed for decades.
This is exactly what many Christian ministers have been pounding the pulpit about for decades, but what are they doing to support those families? As Christians, we are the church, and we should be focused on prioritizing supporting families who have decided to reclaim what God intended for the family unit. This article is a compilation of advice given to me throughout our 23-year home-schooling journey by Christians who valued and understood the biblical blessing of parents seeking God’s will in their families. It also focuses on needs I have observed firsthand throughout the years of providing home school consultations.
Free YOUR Children is a Christian ministry; therefore, the content of this article will be written from a Christian perspective.
Husbands: Aside from your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse should be paramount. It has often been said that the most important thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. If you are a home-schooling father reading this article, the sacrifices you are making that allow your wife to stay at home, teach and raise your children will be rewarded, but remember, your responsibility to your family doesn’t end at bringing home a paycheck. Spend time with your wife. Prioritize alone time with her which allows you to reconnect and gives your wife an opportunity to recharge. Be involved in your children’s education by being engaged and helping when you can. Take them to events, participate, and be present. Check in with your wife to see how you can serve her. You are commanded to love your wife as Christ loved the church, which he gave himself up for. You are called to be the spiritual leader in your home. Make praying and Bible study a priority with your family. Remember: A family that prays together stays together.
Grandparents and in-laws, be proud of the parents in your family who have chosen to home-school their children. Instead of being a stumbling block, lift them up! Encourage them with affirming words. Offer to help with household chores or pay someone to provide those services. Cook them a meal. Get involved with their children’s education. Offer to take their children to extracurricular activities. Home schooling is a full-time job and these moms and dads are selflessly choosing to put their children and their discipleship first.
Far too often I hear families say their extended family doesn’t agree with their home-schooling choices. They are constantly looking for a reason to tell them to “put their kids back in school.” If the mom is tired, that is their default response. If the house is in disarray, that is the advice doled out. When you home school, the house is utilized 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It’s going to get messy. For most families, educating their children is the top priority so moms typically feel “behind” in the housekeeping department. That’s not a complaint. It is a reality. Family members, instead of being critical, HELP THEM OUT. Home-school families typically eat three meals a day at home plus snacks. They are home all day and everyone must eat. They spend an exorbitant amount of time and money cooking and cleaning up three meals a day, seven days a week, plus snacks. Family members can cook them a meal, buy them a meal, or bring them groceries. BE SUPPORTIVE. Stop criticizing and condemning parents who are choosing to obey the Biblical mandate to disciple their own children. Stop making it difficult. Stop being a stumbling block. You don’t stop being a parent when your children turn 18. Your desire as a parent should be to help and encourage your adult children to be the parents they are called to be. Instead of focusing on how they can and should serve you, shift your thought process to being an active, engaged grandparent.
So where does the church fit into this equation? Churches should be focusing on the biblical roles of husband and wives. If your church refuses to address these topics, I would suggest finding a new church. Does your church support your decision to home-school? Do they address and understand the damage that is being done to our nation’s children within the government school system? Churches should be the thermostat of the community. If they have a church building that is not utilized throughout the week are they allowing home-schooling families to meet there? Are any church members willing to volunteer within the home school community? Oftentimes home-school moms may have a doctor’s appointment or need childcare for a short time. Churches could help in this arena.
There are likely church members who have specific talents that could be of benefit. You may have someone in the church who could teach music lessons, may have a degree in a subject they could teach, or specialized skills the children in the church could benefit from learning. If there is a legitimate monetary issue that doesn’t allow for home schooling (and some do exist), the church should provide resources. The church could offer financial classes to educate parents on how to wisely and biblically utilize their finances.
If churches care about the family, the souls of the children in their congregations, and the discipling of the future generations of their church, then their missions outreach should be making sure parents in their congregation have the means to disciple their own children as the Bible instructs. I’m not talking about “private Christian schools” either. Those are businesses, too, that often follow the same model as the public school system with some Bible thrown in. I’m talking about churches making sure parents in their congregations have the support needed (yes, even financial) to teach and train their own children as the Bible instructs.
To the mothers reading this who are home-schooling or considering home-schooling, your biggest mission field is within the walls of your own home. Utilize the resources available to you and ask for help. Prioritize your relationship with Jesus. Make your relationship with your spouse a priority. One day, your children will grow up and start their own families. You will then move into the role of supportive grandparent. Strong families are intact families. Communicate your needs to your spouse and allow him to do the same. You are on the same team. Allow him to help and remember that it may not be the way you would do it but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Schedule regular times to discuss finances and family business. Remember that you are in the home on a daily basis with the children but your spouse isn’t and you will need to communicate effectively in order to be on the same page.
Prioritize your health. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Don’t take advantage of the blessings you have been given. Be a wise steward of your time and money. Your spouse should see the fruits of your labor. Make your family the priority. Your family, life and home-schooling journey will constantly change. Don’t be afraid to reevaluate and make changes where necessary. The joy is in the journey—enjoy it!
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Photo, top, courtesy of Sarah Deitz / Pexels
