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Steered Straight Thrift

Merry Christmas! On Rock, On Donald, On Marcus, On Kareem!

The Train Daddy Polar Express is back with sports news, life lessons and politically incorrect talk. All aboard! Life is short, time is fast, no replay, no rewind, so enjoy every moment as it comes. I can’t believe December is here and 2019 is knocking! My motto is simple live life following the 5 Fs, “Faith, Family, Football, Food and Friends.” It’s Christmas time, a time when the 5 Fs shine! My faith in God makes life’s daily struggles easier to deal with, while it’s a bonus hanging with family and friends as we watch football and feast on food.

Happiness truly comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have, and the troubles we create, and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Over the numerous years writing for the Pulse, my Christmas articles have always been a favorite. It’s become a tradition of mine to wish a random selection of some of the year’s most interesting people a Merry Christmas. Most were naughty and thankfully some were nice, and in a year as interesting as 2018 we have a diverse group of personalities to choose from. So let’s highlight 2018, as we near the start of a New Year 2019.

How do you wish someone a Merry Christmas in America? You could simply say Merry Christmas. It’s to the point and respectful to Christ, who is the reason for the season. My personal favorite greeting is “Happy Drop a Yuletide Log.” Other examples include Happy Holidays, Season Green Smoke, HO, HO, HO, Yuletide Greetings, Happy Hanukkah or Have a Cool Yule.

Merry Christmas Molly!
My five-year-old Yellow Labrador gets a shout out every Christmas in this annual article. She is loyal, smart and never complains.

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Marcus Mariota and the Tennessee Titans brought holiday cheer to patients at St. Thomas Midtown in 2016. Photo courtesy of sthealthbeat.com

Merry Christmas Marcus Mariota and the Tennessee Titans!
Why do you play with my feelings so much? All I ever wanted for Christmas for the past two decades was a Super Bowl ring. Is that too much to ask? You get me high and then you bring me low. Regardless I will always be there with you, no matter what! Salvaging the season means dominating December—winning! Win or lose, I am there with you Titans.

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Merry Christmas President Trump!
Many people today would say you’re as mean as the Grinch. Would Donald Trump take the Whos’ feast, would he take the Who pudding, would he take the roast beast? As long as Whoville is in America it would be safe, it would have a roaring economy with a low unemployment rate. The little Whos would be thriving! Some people dislike the America-first approach, but many appreciate it. Just ask little Cindy Lou Who whose family was struggling during an Obama economy. She would say “America first, Who-Raw!”

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Merry Christmas Jalen Hurts!
This kid has some serious character! The Alabama Tide quarterback was 26–2 as a starter before he lost his job to Tua Tagovailoa. Then in the same building where he was benched during last year’s National Championship game against the same Georgia team, he leads a miracle comeback and wins the game. There will be a movie made about this sequence of events. Jalen could have criticized Coach Nick Saban, he could have transferred to another school, but he remained quiet and now is an Alabama living legend. I hate Alabama football, who doesn’t? But Tennessee Volunteer fans can learn a lesson here: loyalty. It’s tough times on Rocky Top, but like it did with Jalen, loyalty will eventually reward you.

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Merry Christmas Pekka Rinne and the Nashville Predators!
Let’s be honest, my love for hockey has grown as much as the Grinch’s heart did that day in Whoville: 3x! I have always enjoyed hockey and I can recall going to many games as a youngster, but I never loved it like I do these days. I have lived in Middle Tennessee all my life, and I love Nashville, the culture and the people. I feel like the Nashville Predators represent the people of Nashville perfectly. Winning helps and since I graduated high school in 2003 the Predators have made the playoffs 11 out of 14 seasons. Pekka Rinne has been a 13-year staple for this team, and he is beloved. Thankfully he just resigned a deal that could keep the 36-year-old goaltender in Nashville until 2021. Currently the Predators lead the Western Conference. It’s a long way until April, but I smell the Stanley Cup, and it smells like stinky CATFISH.

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photo courtesy of goblueraiders.com

Merry Christmas Coach Rick Stockstill and quarterback Brent Stockstill, MTSU head coach and quarterback, also father and son. That Conference USA Championship game hurt; 12 men on the field is probably the difference between winning and losing your first outright conference championship since 1992. This team is still 8–5 and heading to a bowl game, marking four straight bowl appearances, a first in program history. That is something Brent should be proud of as he finishes his final season as quarterback for MTSU. A $100 million athletic complex is something that is on its way to becoming reality soon, so the future is bright for MTSU athletics!

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Merry Christmas Optimus Prime!
Leader of the Autobots, a self-configuring modular extraterrestrial robotic life form! “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

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Merry Christmas as well to The Rock Dwayne Johnson!
The Rock is the highest paid actor in Hollywood, and unlike most of Hollywood very well admired. I am campaigning for The Rock, future President of The United States of America. The Rock has expressed interest, and he has the same qualities as Optimus Prime—moral character, leadership, sound decision making, brilliant military tactics, powerful martial arts and a strong sense of honor and justice. I agree with most of Trump’s policy, yet the man himself, well, he is not THE ROCK!

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Merry Christmas Kareem Hunt!
Life sucks for you right now. Hunt was recently released by the Kansas City Chiefs after a video came out of him and a woman screaming and fighting each other. Hunt was a running back for the Super Bowl favorite Chiefs and was one of the best players in the NFL. There is no comparison to the Ray Rice case where he brutally knocked his girl unconscious back in 2014. I watched the recent Hunt video and I saw two people equally upset and equally confrontational. He pushed her, she punched him, and she accidentally gets knocked down by someone else as others try to separate the two. The video ends with her kneeling on the floor and Hunt kicking her feet out from under her while she was down. If the so-called victim had been a man, no one would care about this. Is that equality? Hunt should have walked away; his anger and immaturity showed and now he faces the court of public opinion, and it’s brutally against him. I feel like the actions of both individuals here are wrong, while the world just points at Kareem.

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My last Merry Christmas goes to you, the READER!
I do this for you and because I enjoy it. I don’t write these articles for money or publicity, only so I can make you, the reader, laugh or think—preferably laugh! I love humor, my whole life has been a joke, and I am okay with that, because I am 100 percent happy. I am grateful to the Pulse and the family behind the scenes of this awesome publication. We live in a time when everyone has an opinion and social media has changed the way we interact with one another. That’s why I try and refrain from all social media. I always tell readers if you have questions, problems or praise email me at titanman1984@gmail.com. I assure you I will take the time to reply.

That’s it, the Train is rolling into the station. I truly wish you all Merry Christmas and a Season Green Smoke. I think I am getting sentimental as I age into my mid 30s, but remember the 5 Fs this holiday season—Faith, Family, Football, Food and Friends! Live life following the 5 Fs and life will reward you. Merry Christmas!

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About the Author

The Z-Train is a Murfreesboro resident and enjoys all sports, but bleeds code blue for his beloved Titans, who will one sweet day bring home that beautiful Lombardi Trophy to Tennessee. Always remember the Train's big F's: Faith, Family, Friends, Food and FOOTBALL!

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