I recently got accused of being one of “those” people. I was giving a girl a ride home from work and told her that I wanted to make it home so I didn’t miss the new episode of “Lost,” and she said, “Oh, you’re one of those people.” I asked what she meant by that and she told me that I was one of those TV people who had to schedule time to be at home to watch my shows. Apparently in the eyes of the elite I am a scumbag for enjoying a television show.

The girl I’m talking about is not one of “those” people; she’s the other kind. Anytime someone talks about a television show she makes it known that not only does she not watch television, she doesn’t even own one. And I’m stunningly impressed. Let God, Buddha and the ghost of Xenu rain gifts of joy upon her superior skull for the lack of television in her apartment.

I understand the ill view of the couch potato whose life revolves around the tube and the person who can’t get enough reality TV, I get that. But I don’t want to hear the nauseating ramblings of the supposed culturally elite who brag about what they don’t do. I am aware she says this to tweak the image she’s trying to convey.

The image is cool and runs the gambit of everything that’s at odds with pop culture. It doesn’t know what’s popular and doesn’t download music because it only listens to records. And the people who produced those records aren’t musicians, they’re “noise artists” who bang chains against trashcan lids, break bottles and fart in jars because this isn’t mainstream, this is art. The image will sell you on the latest graffiti artist, teach you how to make your own shoes and preach about Kevin Smith’s artistic integrity. Just don’t talk to them about something as obtuse as a popular television show. Don’t even mention it because they won’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

You would assume that sophisticated people like this must be highly educated and spend most of their time buried in books and newspapers, but my personal experience is that they usually can’t see their own artistic inspiration. This particular person who said I was one of “those people” has a world view developed by word of mouth and conspiracy theories. She has no real context of history music, or movies, and it’s not a stretch to say her primary source of entertainment is World of Warcraft. But I’m an idiot because I enjoy the show “Lost.” I also enjoy Dirty Harry, shooting guns, comic books, poetry, punk rock, Billy Joel and good beer. So yes, I’m one of “those people.”